PAIN MANAGEMENT

It's 3:04am and we just gave him his 2nd dose of morphine for the night. For those that know me well, you know I'm not a big fan of medicine. Listen, I vaccinate my children but I'm not quick to give myself or my kids medicine for every small thing that comes up. I had to be convinced by the pediatrician to give the girls the flu shot, heck the only time I've ever had the flu shot myself is when I'm pregnant because they practically force it on you. So to sit here day in and day out and force feed my child medicine continously is hard to swallow. I completely understand these drugs are going to heal his body but it doesn't make it any easier. I say that but at the same time I can't think of anything more excruciating than holding your screaming child and not be able to comfort them. I've always taken a little bit of selfish pride in the fact that when my kids are crying my touch will bring them comfort. Not the case with cancer. It is causing my boy pain and even my touch cannot ease that pain. I am shattered by this. So morphine it is. Sleep sweet boy we will fight this beast again in the morning.